& nbsp;     :) Happy New Year! :)

    & nbsp;   &n bsp; 2006 is here already.

I hope everyone's year is the best year you've ever had. Be safe and take care.

~jaemarie~

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   

    :)Merry Christmas!:)

I know its early but I don't know when I'll be on next. I would like to wish everyone a safe and fun holiday. Don't eat too much, you'll regret it when you step on the scale!:) Also, have a great New Years. Make resolutions you'll keep. Mine, I'm going to lose weight if it kils me!

Joey, having a baby isn't an excuse to not call your sister once in awhile. I Have 2, I'm on the phone all the time! Advice: (if you'll take it!) Keep your eyes open. Know what's going on around you. If something doesn't feel right, it isn't right. Trust your first instinct! That's all I have to say...

   :)Happy New Year!:)

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;      Yaya, its been awhile I know! 

I'm a busy person/mommy now... so deal with it :) All is well. The babies are getting big. So sad, yet so exciting. This time next year Emily will be blabbing baby words and walking. OH GOD!!!! She's teething now. Its hell, I won't lie. Other than that, she's doing good. She can almost roll completely over, and she scoots.  Ashley goes to school.I don't know if that's a good or bad thing yet. She's a smart kid, but she brings home the worst attitude and behavior I've ever seen. Well, I guess not the worst. I know it will get much worse the older she gets. But, crap.... I can't take the constant yelling at her to be good or to clean up her toys! I'm stressed over that.

Speaking of babies...My sister had her's.

Benjamin Philip 7lbs 14oz 20 1/2 in long. November 28th. He's so cute!

I just got back from seeing my family and go figure, my sister goes in labor the DAY AFTER I leave!!!! GRRRR! Its okay though... :)

Well that's all for now

~jaemarie~

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;   

Hey all. All is well here.

Emily is getting big. She's already 3 mos old. Time flies when you have babies, huh?! I'm still adjusting to the no-sleep thing. It sucks!

Ashley started school this year. She's doing very well. She's making friends, and her teacher says she's a very smart girl. That makes me proud. I guess I'm doing something right.

I started a new job, still in retail though. I like it much better than the old one. I would've stayed at me old job if I had more hours and my boss wasn't such a witch and a child. She was the worst person to talk to. I heard that the store was going downhill since I left. Sucks for them. My new job is cool. I'm going for a manager's postion. Which I got the impression when I was hired that I would get it. Apparently there are many people going for it. daycare is a bitch. It costs $200 a week for me. So, a on;y work nights now until I can come up with a good idea. That's why Ashley's in school.

My sister is having a boy! She's due in 5 weeks. I'm excited. Hopefully she has Benjamin before I go home for "Turkeyday," or while I'm there. That would be cool. I told her I would stay if she has him between those times. I can't wait!

Other than that, i'm just adjusting to my new life of being a mommy to 2 little girls now. Its fun and srtessful but worth it!

until next time,

~jaemarie~

 All is well with us. We're trying to adjust to Emily finally being here. We're in NY for my family reunion, which was yesterday. It was nice seeing family members I usually don't see when I visit home.

Emily is a good baby. Like all babies, she has her moments: when she's tired and has a belly ache. Other than that, she's really good. She'll be a month already on the 15th. I can't believe it!!! She can already smile and see us, I thought that came later, like 2 months old.

Ashley's adjusting... okay. I didn't know it would be THIS hard. She has her moments too. Somedays are worse than others. Someday aren't, then I wonder what's up and what's going to happen next. I do yell at her more than I did before. Maybe she's just trying to adjust to this whole new thing. I'm clueless. I feel bad at times, but I don't know what to do half of it. Hopefully it gets better. I've only cried twice. Postpartum depression was much worse the first time around.

Other than adjusting, all is well. I'll try to keep you all informed. Although I feel like this is just a diary for me, that everyone can read, I'll still write.

~jaemarie~

    & nbsp;   &n bsp; Emily Rose

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;    Born:  Thursday, July 15th 2005

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;Weight: 8lbs. 13 1/2 oz

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p; Length: 22 inches long

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;Time: 10:22 am

She's beautiful! :) It went by so quick ( after being induced 3 times!) She's a very happy baby, and looks just like her sister. Mommy and daddy couldn't be more proud. :)

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;    I've had a pretty hectic week...

I went to the doctor's on Thursday, and asked if they could induce me then. She actually said yes. :) So, Friday morning I had to be at the hospital at 7am. I go there about 715am, and waited for 20 minutes only to find out that they were extremely busy, and had to send me home. :( My doctor told me to stay home and she'd call me. Okay... As you can guess, I never went in because mother after mother, who were in labor were taking all the rooms. They came first to mother's who were going to be induced... understandable! But, after hours of waiting and wanting to punch a wall, my doctor called again, and said she had a room for me, just didn't have a postpartum room, so I'd have to wait until next week.  I'm going in Wednseday for sure, and by this time next week we should have our baby girl!!! It all sucks, because she's going to be really big. At the doctor's, my doctor examined me and guessed she was 8-8 1/2 lbs. already! I'm freaking out. By being induced, I know for sure I'll have a baby next week though. Because if I wasn't, I have a feeling I'd be overdue. My doctor said she was going to write down by my name that I was bumped 3 times, and she won't allow me to be bumped anymore!! Great for me... :)

Yesterday, we had a pig roast to go to. It was fun. The food... all right... that's the safe way to say it...:) I've had better. We were there all day, and Ashley was exhausted. We got home around 8ish, and she went right to sleep.  Hooray for me!

Today, we're all going to Justin's grandparents for a big cookout/party that they have every year. Great food, nice people, and such a fun day. Later tonight when it gets dark, we'll have fireworks also. We'll see how the day goes, stay tuned...

My sister is coming on Saturday. I'm really excited. Depending on how labor goes I should be home that day. She's staying for a couple weeks to help me out. Then my mom is coming with my aunt sometime at the end of July. In August, We'll all be going to Ny for my family reunion, which should be interesting and fun to say the least.

While my sister is here, we're going to get a new car. :) I'm totally excited about that, we need a new one desperately. We drive a 2 door cougar. Yeah, matchbox!  We're going to make a day out of it. Joey is going to watch the babies, and I hope she'll be okay. Emily will only wake up to eat or if she's dirty, so tha shouldn't be hard. Ashley's the one you have to worry about. :) Good luck! :)

But that's all for now... I'll try to keep you all posted...

Until next time,

~Jaemarie~

    & nbsp; :) Happy 4TH Of July:) 

I hope every dad out there is enjoying their day. I think Justin enjoyed his day. Ashley got him a mug with her picture on it. It says "I love you daddy."  He was pretty siked that he got it. His first Father's Day mug, he said. :) Ashley and I went to Sears and got her pics taken too. We made a collage of her there, which turned out really nice. Justin liked that too. I got him a gift card to his favorite toy store... GUITARS! I think he liked that, I'm not sure though. :P lol

I went to the doctors on Friday. She is going to try and have me go into labor my 39/40 week. How she's going to do that is beyond me! But hell, at least she's not going to let me go overdue. I like this doctor much more than my doctor in NY. Mainly because this one is a midwife. I was told midwives care alot more about you and the baby, than a doctor does. I think so too. We'll see what happens. Keep our fingers crossed... :)

Not much else going on. Just counting my days, which is taking up most of my time. Its becoming a drag, mainly because you never know where or when. This sucks, I wish you could put a time and a day on birth! I'll keep you all informed.... PROMISE! :) :)

Take care and until next time...

~Jaemarie~

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;    ~4 weeks To Go~

I've had a very busy week. As you all read in my last blog.  It has been extremely hot here, and I can hardly take it anymore. I've been miserable, and my house work is not getting done. I've been a couch potato for the last 2 days! Justin, I know, isn't happy about it, but he's not saying anything. He must know I'll snap if he does! He understands, I guess, so he's letting it slide. :) Today is much better. Its like 60 something. My ideal temperature. I don't mind 70s, its just the humidity, which has been high. So now today, Justin can't complain because I'm actually working on the house. :) hehe...

Monday, I had my class at he hospital. But before I went I started feeling some back pains. I ignored them, and went to class. They got worse during class! So I went to labor and delivery. I started freaking out because although I'm ready for her to come, I'm really not ready... The nurse gave me an IV, and called my midwife. I thought I was in true labor, because why would they call my doctor, and give me an IV? Come to find out, it was false labor. Which after hearing that I was bummed. Emily wasn't ready. :( I heard baby's crying down the hall, and I was getting anxious. But its okay. My doctor told me to try and wait 2 more weeks. Right now, she'd be preemie, and they don't want that. So.... okay.... :P I guess I'll wait a little longer. Not that I have any choice.

I got everything I need too this weekend. I loved going out with Kim, I don't do very often. Everything's all set and ready for Emily!

Yo Joey, don't forget to call me tomorrow!!! (THURSDAY)  We have issues to talk about...

Until next time,

~jaemarie~

I had my shower! It was a surprise this past Sunday. I was extremely surprised too. I got alot of nice things. Mainly clothes and blankets, which is still very nice. Not all of them are pink, which is a good thing also. You can just get sick of that color after awhile. So, this weekend I'm going with Justin's stepmom to get the rest of the stuff that I need. I'm very excited.

This weekend will be a busy one. Ashley has a class at the hospital for Big Sisters, Sunday we all have a baptism to go to, and Monday Justin and I have a class to go to, a Refreshers Course. Justin wasn't my coach the first time because he was overseas, but made it home for her birth. I asked his stepmom to be a coach too, so she's very happy. I told myself I can't go into labor until I have my class, so I know what  I'm doing. I've been having contractions so I don't know when I'll go. They were so bad the other night, i really thought I was in actual labor. Sadly they went away. :( Oh well, when she's ready, I'm ready. Although I'm ready now. I want to dress her up in her adorable clothes.

 Oh God am I in for a shocker!!! I just don't know how its going to be after she comes home. But my sister should be here eventually. It all depends on when she's born. That's another thing. My sister is pregnant too, and I don't think she should ride a bus for 19 hrs to come here. If she wants to that's a different story. I'm trying to see if someone will bring her half way, no luck yet. Her husband should, but I guess he sleeps all the time, and refuses to do anything. I have yet to ask though. If she doesn't come I'll be upset and hurt. But I guess it all depends. I'm willing to buy a ticket for the bus, I should just ask her. If she'd ever call me.... So that's the latest thing I'm freaking over. Hopefully it all works out.

Until next time... take care,

~jaemarie~

Since the last time I wrote everything has been all right. We still haven't talked about a wedding but yeah whatever!

Yesterday was the hottest day here. I felt like I was going to die! Today is supposed to be even hotter. This kid better come out pretty darn soon, because I'm freakin' miserable!!! And everyone around me feels my wrath, which is unpleasant for the giving and receiving.... SORRY!!!! :(

I had a change of heart. I had told Justin that I didn't want his step mom in the delivery room, just because I don't feel comfortable with it. But, I decided to ask her to be a coach. She was very excited. So, I'm happy... Last thing I want is to piss people off!

Today is my sister's bridal shower. I wish I was there, but in my condition I can't be. She should be getting some nice stuff. She'll like our gift. :) She will be coming here in a few weeks to help me out with the baby. Hopefully the baby is here! So seeing her should be cool. she'll be 5 mos pregnant by then.

Alrighty, that's all for now I guess.

take care all,

~jaemarie~

I just seriously fucked up my blog!!! I go to change a title and it erases the blog, then I accidentally delete another!

Could my day get any freaking worse??!!!

Anyways, yesterday wasn't a good day for me. Mainly because of a dream I had. Which got me thinking... which isn't good... which I could care less. It was about one of my fears, and in the dream it came true. Okay.... First, awhile back a co-worker and I were talking and we got on the wedding subject. She told me to talk to Justin, which I do, which gets me absolutely nowhere. She told me to plan a wedding within the next couple of years, like 2007. We'd have a year to plan. Which is ideal to me. (PTH) So on the way  home yesterday I tried bringing it up. I didn't like my response or lack of a response. Its like he's listening to me, but really he doesn't care. I mean come on I mention the word 'wedding' and he gets all irritated. What am I supposed to think when he won't talk to me about it or even plan to get married? Its not money, even though he says it is, there's ways around that. So what the hell? If you don't want to get married, then tell me! Don't make me think we are. I deserve much better! Maybe I should just give up on it, and say fuck marriage. Because that's the way I feel. I hate feeling like this, it hurts. I hope one day you realize that you're hurting me by making up these excuses. It just feels like you're trying to get out of it or you don't want to and you refuse to tell me. I can't live a life that I love with you and always wonder or want more. I want to be your wife. I love you and it hurts to feel like this. I just don't think you realize how much pain this causes me. Emily's on her way, that's child #2, mainly because I wanted another child. You can commit to that, now why not marriage?

I'm just so confused right now. Maybe its the pregnancy emotions or something. I just need anwsers to the questions, that's all I'm asking. And if you're hurt by this I am truly sorry, because that wasn't my intention. I love you, and I don't want to see you hurt. Although I'm sure you'll be pissed, but hell what can I do!

This is why I was moody yesterday....

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp; 

I am getting a shower. Now I can relax. Its sometime in June. I can finally quit freaking out about that now, huh?! :)

All could be better... Don't really want to get into it. I'll be okay, I think its the emotions of the pregnancy getting to me.

Just to update you all, take care.

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   :)& nbsp;    10 WEEKS TO GO!!!   :)

Its coming down to it finally. I'm getting really excited and anxious. Not really sick of being pregnant yet, give me a few weeks. Its not hot here, so its bearable.

I've been stressing alot though. I know I shouldn't, and its just pregnancy concerns. My doc says I'm doing good and so is the baby, so I have no need to worry. But, yeah right! Its in my nature...

The baby's room is done, just need the baby. I went through a check list of items that are a necessity for a baby, I think I checked off like 10 things! (crib, dresser, changing table, car seat...etc) I think I'm screwed!!! Well, I was told to register at Burlington Coat Factory, which I did, you only do that if there's a shower....right? I haven't had one yet, and I'm starting to get anxious for one, and on the other hand I am flipping out, because I'll have to buy all the stuff that I registered if I don't have one. I'm driving my fiance up the wall because I've been talking about this non-stop.  But the thing is, the stuff I registered isn't that expensive it just has a few items that are. But, I forgot about the major stuff, little things. I'm stressed, I just want to go buy it all, because I want to be done with it, and be ready when the baby comes. I mean 10 weeks is NOT that far away. Its been flying by, and I know, that she'll be here in no time. No one knows when I'll go in labor. Can you see I'm stressed!!??? :( I'm a plan-aheader, and its drives me insane until its accomplished.... We'll see what happens. Hell, if the shower is a surprise, then cool, but +/- 10 weeks!!! HELLO!!!!  Do I sound like a Bitch? Because that's not what I'm going for. I mean I registered, you don't register unless there's a party... GOOD GOD!  :(

ON A LIGHTER NOTE:

My sister is doing good. I talked to her yesterday. She thinks she's having a girl... old wives tales. I'll laugh though, cause no one can get a boy!! But it'll be cool, Emily and her cousin will be 4 months apart.

I finished the quilt... FINALLY!!!!  :)   It turned out really nice. Now I can relax and not worry about it.

Well, that's all for now, sorry to bore you to death with my stress! Take care all, until next time...

~jaemarie~

    & nbsp;   :)   HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY !!!   :)

All is well here. My daughter is NY. She's been there since last Saturday. I'm going nuts without her. I have no clue what to do with all my free time. It is much easier though to jump up and do something if we want to. We're going back to NY in a few days to get her, and I can't wait. I miss her!!! :(

The baby doing fine. I went to the docs yesterday. I'm 7 months now. Its going by so fast! I'm almost done with her room too. It looks very nice. I can't wait until there is a baby in there. :)

I finally got the chance to clean out my daughter's room. It was a mess. I got rid of so much junk. It looks much better.

Its just been me here during the day, because Justin works, so I'm very lonely. So you could imagine that when he comes home, I'm up his butt! In a nice way though. :) wink...

I'm almost done with the quilt I've been making. I should finish it this week, but I'm procrastinating as usual. We'll see though.

My sister has a doc appt today, she's pregnant. I'm excited, and anxious for what it is.

Well, that's my update, take care everybody. I'll write soon.

~jaemarie~

To Justin....

When I see you there I'm so aware of how lucky I am

Cause I don't deserve I don't come close to understanding baby 

The logic of your kind of trust

It amazes me

That someone like you would care enough to just believe

Your faith in me it pulls me through when there's nothing around to hold on to.When I fall when i'm weak all the strength that I need is your faith in me 

Our love is real

Its like salvation to my soul cause that's how it feels

Its a scared thing that I keep close to carry on

And  I know that i'll be all right in your healing arms

You make me feel like I can walk on water

I can reach above the stars

And nothing comes against me safe within your arms

All I need is you and your faith in me

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp; ~I love you~

Holy mother of GOD!!!

How was everyone's holiday? Mine was a week of hell! And, to top it off, a weekend of hell!

The weekend before Easter, Saturday night ( 2am), I get a phone call. Didn't answer it at first because it was 2am. But then my phone rings again. So, knowing me, I flip because its 2am. It was my sister, so I chewed her out and asked her if she knew what time it was. She said yah, but its important. So half asleep, I say okay, what could possibly so important that she has to tell me at 2am? She told me that my dad and brother went to the store round 630pm that evening, and they never returned. That they were missing. I felt my stomach knot, and I got sick. She really didn't know details, so I called my mom. And it was true. Apparently they went to the store to get ice cream. But since a few hours had passed my mom assumed that my brother convinced my dad to go to the mall or something. 10 o' clock came and they still weren't home. So my mom freaked. Her and some family members searched back roads constantly, and they were nowhere. Hours of searching, they gave up, so they could get some rest, and start searching again. Its now 5am. Every bad thing going through my head was ruling me. My mom, I can still hear her in my head, crying and saying they're dead. Which, myself, assumed too.  Morning came, and mom had police looking into it. The strange part, which is still mind boggling, there were clothes missing of my brothers. Then my mom finds out that a whole lot of money was withdrawaled from the bank.  Its all so confusing still. But apparently, they were on their way to Florida, after hours of trying to figure out where they were and why they left, which is still unexplained. If they were dead... My condition, being 5 1/2 mos. pregnant, and 7 hours away, you could'nt imagine wha was going through me. I make situations worse in my head. So I was in pain. After all that, the police found them in Georgia ( mom told them that my brother was in danger, if you knew my father, you'd think the same) and my dad and brother told mom they'd come home. BUT, they didn't... A couple days later they did. My dad acted like nothing happened. My mom said she'd never forgive him.  Can you blame her? Everything's all right now. Still confused, they won't talk. I sat with my mom, I never want to see her in so much pain again...

So, you could imagine what Easter dinner was like. It was all right. At least we still had it after everything.  My brother is a teenager, who has me not at home, and another sister who's always working. He needs someone to talk to. Mom' s trying to get a counselor, but no one wants to help. All so sad... :(

So much has happened in the last week andI was getting better, until the night before we left. Got into a argument with my step mom, which is yet to determined why. Her and my fiance had exchanged some words that weren't nice. Too long to tell, and I've already bored you with my other story.

I really hope everyone's week went much better than mine. Until next time, take care

~jae~

Hey to all...

All is well here. Trying to be patient about the baby. I can't wait, but I guess I have to. She has her active moments, mostly at 930 at night! I don't think that's a good sign. She hasn't been too active lately though. She's making more room though. I was in alot of pain yesterday. I guess its normal, according to my doctor.

I talked to my mom the other day.  Her and my aunt are coming here after the baby's born for a weekend. Which is cool. I told her I'd be going home for the family reunion, but she said she can't wait that long! Its a month. I'm not complaining though. I guess she's finally coming around. She's taking my daughter for spring break, which is cool. A week of relaxing... I can hardly wait.

My daughter will be 3 soon. Its gone by so fast. I can't believe it! :(  She has the attitude though so I can believe it. She's very bossy, and doesn't like to listen. I don't know if anyone's seen that t.v. show Supernanny.... I can see her in some of the children on that show, and myself. It scares me, because I don't want to be like that. I have tried some of the techniques though, and they do work. It all depends on the situation though. She's very excited about the baby. She keeps saying her sister. She helps me do her laundry, which is cute. She's very helpful.

Well, I don't have much to say. Happy Easter to all, and be safe.

~jaemarie~

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   I'm back...

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   To all who care.

Florida was beautiful! We went to both East and West Coasts. I liked the west coast much more because it was more attractive. We were always doing something every day. Even if it was just driving around. His grandparents house is amazing, it is so me! Palm trees are cool, some are ugly. lol. I told everyone I'm moving there. But I guess if I lived there, I wouldn't appreciate it as much. Which I think is true. The beaches are nice also. I guess they just had "red tide" so there were tons of dead fish everywhere. Not a pretty sight, nor smell. (gag!) Ashley loves the beach. Which is cool this year, because we could relax and enjoy it while she played, instead of yelling at her to stay by us. I also saw my first alligator. Not impressed, they're small. Definitely not the creatures you see on t.v. They are very lazy. We went to he other coast to visit his mom's family. He hasn't seen them in 4 years, so that was interesting, because I've never met them. It was a nice visit, but holy crap, they fight alot!  We'll just leave it at that.... The flight there was nerve wrecking. My first time on a plane, and I'm nervous already. Then I decide to look out the window. Needless to say, I was sick for an hour. I couldn't open my eyes because I was so dizzy. The trip back wasn't as bad. I just wanted to get home. My vacation was nice, but I wanted my house, my bed, my my my everything!

I have great news! I went to the doctor's on Monday. We're having another girl, and she's very healthy. :) Daddy's already worried about the future. ( the 2 girls fighting!) She's a very active baby, and only likes my right side I guess. That's where she is, curled up into a ball. Her name is Emily Rose. I'm going shopping on Sunday to get the crib and crib set ,and most likely more stuff. Its only wednesday! I have no patience. My ultrasound says my due date is July 20th. I was told the 10th, I don't want to be overdue this time! I guess it goes by an extra 10 days. (?)

I think my mom is upset with me for some reason, which shouldn't be a surprise cause she's always got something up her butt. I guess she doesn't want us to stay with her for Easter. She said it would be better for us if we stayed with my friend. ALRIGHTY THEN! What else am I supposed to say? She's happy about the baby though, that's the vibe I got when I told her. It could change any minute though with her.

I had a job before I left for Florida, but it fell through. I was helping out with newborn twins, and now I'm not needed, only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Which sucks, because I told Ashley's school that I found a job. Now I have to take her out of school, because I don't have the recommended 4 pay stubs to keep her in. I'm so bummed, I think I have to start all over. :( We finally agreed on getting a new car too. :( I'm still looking for a job, but who's going to hire me if I don't have daycare? I'm screwed, I know...

That's all for now, I'll keep ya's posted!

~jaemarie~

When my life is going good, and I'm happy... I find myself trying to find something to upset me or put me in a mood. I get to thinking... what's wrong with me? Why do I do the things that I do? Can I not be happy? Can I just go about my life and live it, without the fear of something in the back of my head saying negative things. Do I do this because I think sometihng will happen? Or do I do this because its just fear? Like in every women's head. What I would give to give this feeling away... and to be so happy, like I deserve...

I had to get some things off my chest... I guess... On a lighter note, besides that, all is well. I'm very proud of my sister. She finally got a job! She's been looking forever, and now can stop. I hope all works out for ya joey!

I'm stressing about the baby. Well, not really the baby, help after the baby. My sister is supposed to come here to help. Planning that is kinda hard because, well, having the baby isn't predictable. My daughter was 2 weeks over, so I'm kinda worried about this one. First, I want my sister to come here before, to help me with whatever. Logically thinking, it would be better to come after the baby's born... but when will that be? She has to give dates to her new job so they know. But I can't give that. So, what do I do? Do I go by my due date and hope I'll go in labor before it or what?! HELP!!! :(:( I'm losing it here. I mean the help would be great before, and much appreciated after. Another thing, how will she get here? Oh boy! I think she'll be coming  after. But then, I could have her come a couple days before my due date...Oh God!!! :(

Anyways... now that iI've completely confused the crap out of myself, I'm going to go... and think... because I have alot of that to do! 

Take care all... and I would love ideas from you all.

Until next time,

~jae~

Hey all..

Its been awhile I know... All is good here. I'm doing much better now that my cold is finally gone.

My daughter started school the other day. Well, its a daycare. She's been doing really good there. She likes it, and is very excited to go. They're helping me potty train. She's hasn't had an accident yet while there! But, she refuses to do it at home. I make her. When she pees we do the peepee dance. She gets all excited. Its so cute. Today was hard though. She wanted to be with me, so she cried. I felt bad, but I stayed with her a little bit. Then she was fine.... I'm assuming.

I went to he docs yesterday. I heard the baby's heartbeat again. It was 146... which means boy! My doc apparently messed up the last heartbeat. She wrote in my chart 157, when she told me 174 (girl). So i'm confused a little. I go back the end of the  month to get an ultrasound. I'm excited, I can't wait. Especially can't wait to go shopping!

I'm looking for a new job. Its a drag. I have to  have 30 hours to keep daycare or my daughter gets kicked out. I don't want that to happen because she's just getting used to it, and meeting kids her own age. So, I'm trying, but its hard. I have a bad habit. I kinda get my heart set on something and get all worked up about it. Then when it falls through, I get really bummed and depressed. So, I'm trying not to this time... to let you know... ITS NOT WORKING!!! We'll see though...

My mom and I talked about my doc appt yesterday. She seemed interested, which made me happy. I guess she's finally coming around with this whole pregancy thingy. Its about freaking time!!! 

My man is gone for the week. :( :( He hasn't been working because of the weather, so he's been going nuts. Which is kinda funny to watch (sorry), but kinda annoying. He can't sit still for more than 10 mins, it seems. LOL. So, right now he's working with his uncle on an island.He says it will suck, but the money will be worht it. He calls every night, but I'm lonely. My daughter is always asking "where's my daddy?" I hope I don't have to do that again! She jumps every time she hears a noise, "oh that's daddy!" Then she gets bummed when I say its not, and he's working. :( A couple more days, and he'll be home. Its very cold sleeping in a king size bed all by yourself!

I'm going to Florida in 2 weeks! I'm really excited. I was told I'm going to want to move there. We'll see... probably though... :) It should be an interesting trip. We'll be staying with gramma and grandpa that lived here, but bought a house there like all the other old people. Then we'll be going to visit his grandparents that he hasn't seen in like... 5yrs... I've never met them, so it should be interesting. I was told that his mother will be there too. OH BOY!!! I've been told stories. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude for him... Its not working... It seems like she's always rude towards me when she calls. OR, maybe that's just her. We'll see... I'll keep you all informed...

That's all for now. Take care....

jaemarie

Hey all...

My week has been awful! I'm sicker than a dog. I have a head cold that's kickin' my ass. It was much worse yesterday. Today, I'm okay, its all coming out! Eww... My face is all red and raw from wiping it. I look so sad! :(

My mom, has FINALLY talked to me about the new baby. Well, let's just say she said "baby." Its an accomplishment.  I think she's finally coming to terms with it. Well, she's going to have to, right? She said they're planning to come here after "its" born, they just don't know when. So, I feel semi-better. Eh, she'll get over it!

Joey, I'm proud of you. You're FINALLY getting on track. :) Love ya!  

That's all for now ya'll! Take care.

~Jae~

Hello all. Did ya miss me?  thanks... PTH!:P  All is well here. Can't remember my last blog, so I'll say everything is doing good.

I'm now 4 months pregnant. I'm looking it now! Didn't really notice it until I was at work and I walked be a mirror though! I feel better, I'm not sick anymore. The only problem is I can't eat anything that I ate before the pregnancy... it all makes me feel queasy. Or rather, unappealing.

OHHHHHH! I forgot....

My mother, apparently is mad at me. ( for the pregnancy) I talked to my brother on his birthday, and he filled me in on a whole bunch of stuff. Most og it wasn't good. It depresses me, that my mom is like that. Obviously its my life not hers. I have my own family now. I found out that she apparently doesn't like my boyfriend either. Mainly for stupid reasons, such as, he's contributing to my brother's "bad choice" of music. PLEASE. And, she doesn't like us staying there at her house because we take over the t.v. We watch what we want, and that's that. ANOTHER PLEASE! We don't watch tv, we're all doing other things. So, you can see why th is all upsets me. She's just got her head up her ass so far, she only wants to see what she wants to see, and hear what she wants to hear. :( So upset... Love her to death, but GOD!!!

Besides all that shit, we're doing good. My daughter thinks she has a baby in her tummy, and she walks around saying feel her tummy. lol. I'm trying to tell her that I have the baby, not her. She doesn't understand.  So cute though...

Well, that's all for now... take care all, I'll write soon

~Jaemarie~

 Wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year.  Have fun and be safe, think responsibly... I'll be back Sunday.

How's everyone? Here, is good. How was christmas? Our's was great. Our daughter had a blast! We got it on video. Her favorite toy is a magna-dooodle. She was so fun to watch opening her presents. My house is FINALLY almost clean! :)

I was sick all day christmas day. I guess it comes with the territory of being pregnant. I seriously felt like I was in labor. I'm better though. I felt like I was a party pooper all day. I wasn't trying to be... I had fun, I was just didn't feel good. We went to gramma's for dinner. Everyone was there, from the family. It was fun...

I'm working on a new quilt, I'm being lazy about it already and I hardly started it.  I made one for the mother in law, and she loves it. So now, everyone who sees it, wants one. Good for me... :) (pat on the back.) My mom told me to charge. Quilts are a lot of money, and I could make a decent amount if I charged, but I'm not.

My fiance's Aunt had her babies!!!! She went in yesterday because her water broke. She was scheduled for a cesarean (sp?) Jan 11th. Christmas Day she looked like she was going to pop, and she was so uncomfortable. She could hardly move, and her legs were swollen. We all were taking bets to when she was going to go in labor. I'm so happy for her and her hubby! They deserve it! :)

Joey.... grrrr.... We need to talk!

Anyone have any plans for New Year's Eve? We're going to NH. Should be fun and interesting, we'll leave it at that...

My daughter is out shopping with daddy, so I'm going to go and enjoy my time alone. Its nice, but when will they be back? :)

until next time,

~Jae~